mfa fuckers with silver dildos in their asses rule the art world. thats why contemproary art never has anyting to do with anyone. that being said, here's part of a ridiculous irelevant thing I wrote



Lewis and Clark are in a boat with Sacagawea.

Clark
It’s raining

Lewis
I have dry underwear

Clark
What?

Lewis
Dry underwear.

Clark
Dry under where?

Lewis
Yes.

Clark
No, dry underwear.

Lewis
Pity for you.

Clark
Dry under where?

Lewis
You can’t have mine.

Clark
Your what?

Lewis
Dry underwear.

Clark
I can’t have you’re what?

Lewis
Dry underwear.

Clark
I don’t know either!

They row in silence

Clark
How will we eat when we get to Oregon?

Lewis
Don't despair. We can whale.

Clark
Wail?

Lewis
Yes. I want to whale.

Clark
Well, have some heart old man.

Lewis
I don’t know if you can eat the heart.

Clark
We’ll find something.

Lewis
Whale.

Clark
Well, if you must wail, do so in private.

Lewis
I’ve never whaled alone. I’ve always done it with a few strong men.

Clark
You devil. Aren't you enlightened.



They row in silence for a while.

Lewis
Have you ever hunted deer?

Clark
Why yes, honey.

Lewis
You can’t hunt honey... Deer!

Clark
Why not?

Lewis
You can harvest honey.

Clark
You old fashioned thing you.

Lewis
What have you hunted?

Clark
Deer, honey.

Lewis
What is ‘Deer honey?’

Clark
What are deer, Honey.

Lewis
They are a sort of large skinny dog.

Clark
Who?

Lewis
Deer!

Clark
Yes?

Lewis
Yes!

Clark
Whose a large skinny dog, dear?

Lewis
Yes!

Long thoughtful pause

Clark
So we’ll eat meat, then.

Lewis
Then what?

Clark
Right after we kill it.

Lewis
Who will we meet?

Clark
Indians I suppose.

Lewis
I don’t want to meet them

Clark
Well, don't then.

Lewis
What will we eat then?

Clark
No Dear, I wont eat indians.

Lewis
No Deer? What does that leave?

Clark
Deer.

Lewis
You said no Deer.

Clark
When, dear?


Lewis
So we’ll eat deer and whale.

Clark
I wont wail without cause.

Lewis
Is hunger a good enough reason to whale?

Clark
I wont wail, Dear.

Lewis
You don't Whale deer!

Announcer
This went on for sometime.

Lewis
Deer don't swim!

Clark
Don’t tell me not to swim.

Lewis
Whale swim.

Clark
Make up your mind!

Sacagawea
Shut Up! Shut Up and listen to this Olio, or I’ll turn this boat around and take you back to Philadelphia.

Lewis
Yes mam.